Cry in the Sun/Rain King

When I was 14 years old, I had my first real summer romance.  It wasn't the stuff of trashy novels featuring Fabio on their covers... it was truly the love affair of a 14-year-old.  I was visiting family in Kansas and had this overwhelming desire to go find some daisies.  I may have just wanted out of the house.  Whatever the case, I remembered that my father had a bunch of daisies in front of his trailer a few years earlier...and I also knew that he didn't live there anymore.

I chose to walk down the alley, because I was a sneaky kid like that.  As I neared the place I was sure the daisies would be, I started to wonder if I was lost.  Getting lost in tiny Osborne, Kansas is nearly impossible, but there was no trailer, and no daisies.  There were some cement stairs and a large slab where a trailer had once stood.  I just stopped and stared.

"The revolution is over!" someone yelled.

I turned around to see a tall, skinny boy.  He had dark hair and deep blue eyes, and while he was as dreamy as 15-year-old boy could possibly be, he was also every bit a country boy.  He had dirty jeans and a red t-shirt.  He'd been working on his car.

"You don't like my pants?" I asked, referring to my rainbow plaid bell-bottoms.  I was also wearing a skin-tight shiny blue shirt, 3 inch blue platforms, and carrying a small, black lunch box.  My hair was in pigtails.  And, if I remember that time in my life correctly, I bet I even had blue glittery lipstick on...to match the chipped nail polish.  I probably would have had a better response, but was sort of in shock because of the complete absence of an entire house and all its landscaping.

"Didn't say that.  Just not something you see around here."

"I'm from Arizona."

"What are you doing here?"

"Looking for daisies.  My dad used to live there, and there were daisies in front."

"A hippie looking for flowers?" he laughed.  "They've been gone a while.  Guess we'll have to find you some somewhere else."

His name was JR.

We met to take a walk the next day.  We went all around the town.  He told me about himself...I told him about myself.  We ended up following the railroad tracks out past the fairgrounds and race track to the edge of town.  I was afraid of heights, so he held my hand as we walked on the boards as the tracks rose up to cross the river.  As we sat on the edge of the train bridge, looking down over the river, we shared all those teenage dreams that I believe most kids have.  He told me he played guitar...I fell in love...and then it started to rain.  He said we should probably head back to town.  By the time we made it a few steps, the rain was so heavy that we couldn't see a few feet ahead.  The boards were slippery, and we were trying to run.  After a minute, JR said we would have to jump.  I was terrified, but did it anyway.  Once on the ground, we ran into the trees to get out of the rain.  It didn't help much.  We held each other and leaned against a tree.  He said that if I heard a tree snap, to run...don't stop to look around or think...just run.

We stayed there, in each others arms, mostly silent, until the rain slowed.  The walk back into town was actually funny because we were soaked.  We held hands, we balanced on the train tracks, we laughed... And when we showed up on my grandmother's front steps we were met by my terrified mother and grandmother.  Evidently we'd missed the tornado that'd happened during the storm.  From that day on, he was my Rain King.

I don't know how many days we spent together.  I remember sitting on my grandma's front steps with him... sitting in the grass in her front yard...walking up and down the streets together.  I remember his shiny red car - a Nova.  I remember going through CDs in the guest bedroom at my grandma's house... talking about loving Counting Crows and Better Than Ezra... and even Shudder to Think.  He gave me (or he allowed me to steal) a hat.  It may have been 3 days that we knew each other...it may have been a week.

After I came back to Arizona, we wrote to each other and called all the time.  We talked about joining the Air Force together and running away together and being together forever... We talked about how we probably should have kissed, but that we always had the next summer for that.

It was five years before I went back. We only saw each other momentarily.  We saw each other again after a couple more years had passed.  He was taller, still skinny, and handsome in his police uniform.

I wish I still had the letters.  I wish I still had his hat!  I do have the pictures.  I loved JR as much as any 14yr old girl could love.  He's not one of the ones I wonder "what if" about... I feel like all that we had was all that we needed.  He's just meant to be a really good memory for me...and I'm so grateful for that.  I don't know much about where he is now, or what he's doing...but I hope he's happy :)  Every single time I hear the song Cry in the Sun by Better Than Ezra, I think of him... and I'm happy :)  Like, really happy.  Butterflies happy :)

(The picture is him in 7th grade...it was an old picture even then.  He still looked like this in his 20s, and I bet he hasn't changed much now that he's 30.)

Just thinking about all this has made me insanely happy... :)