Monday, March 26, 2012

My son turns 3 this week.  He's taking it about as well as I took turning 30...I may not have literally cried, but he certainly has.  His tears have been related to frustration...mommy must not be very smart if she keeps insisting I'm going to be 3, when I know very well that I'm 2.  I'm handling his turning 3.  Not well, but...I'll survive.  I love all the new and interesting things he's capable of these days.  I love how fast he learns, and how eager and curious he is...about everything.  It's an amazing journey.  Sometimes I miss my little baby baby smell and dino talk...him ALWAYS wanting to cuddle.  I'm lucky because he's still a pretty cuddly kid.  I'm going to take full advantage of it because I know it won't last forever.

My little boy is growing up...

In other news...things have been good and bad.  Re-entering the world of the unemployed is never really desirable...but this time around it came with such a rush of creativity that I can't help but draw the conclusion that I was creatively stifled.  I was.  I think that most people are... :\  I know I'm the square peg in the area with only round holes available.  I also know that I'm at a disadvantage because I've been mostly home for so long - away from people and their germs.  I've been told that normal companies are more understanding of similar situations...they realize that people get sick when they haven't been exposed to germs for years...and I can't help but think I'll never know the whole truth in this situation.  There's not much sense in thinking about it, which is why I haven't.

Right now I'm relaxing...laying in bed, listening to Five Mile Town...and the prayer flags beating against the screen.  It's nearly time to get back to writing... but I'm easing into it tonight.  After the dreams I had last night, I think I may have to get some other stuff out before I can get on with the real  My dream was a bizarre combination of Cars 2 and the Hunger Games movie.  Everyone had to take pills, and the pills may or may not kill them when they're placed in front of a screen.  It was some kind of population control.. weeded out the weaker people?  I don't remember the details of why it was done.  The guard walked away after giving out the pills, and was talking with someone down the road.  The girl in front of me stepped in front of the was more of an arch that looked something like a time travel portal.  She immediately went into violent convulsions.  Her skull cracked as it hit the rocky ground, there was a lot of blood... I ran in front of the screen and tried to hold her down.  I felt her die.  Other people who were waiting around freaked out because I'd gone in front of the screen to help her.  I broke the rules; they also thought I was going to die, too.  When I didn't die, they quieted and stared.  There were big screens above us broadcasting what was happening.  I was covered in her blood.  I got up to try to find the guard...mostly because I was mad at him...but I couldn't approach him.  As soon as I walked around the corner, I saw him...and he was laughing with another guard...I felt so nauseated that I turned and walked away... and then I woke up.  I felt sick for a little while after waking up.


Now that that's out, I feel a little more clear-headed.  :)  I think I can get back to what I need to be doing now.  :)