Singles Day

While a good percentage of the population is currently enjoying a nice romantic dinner, I'm sitting here watching The Vampire Diaries with a freshly bathed kid on my lap.  He likes to watch me type :)

In my adult life, I've been single on Valentine's day more often than not...and generally, it's fine by me.  I think it was sometime last night, while I was thinking through my plans for today, that I realized there'll come a time in my life when I'll probably need to start dating.  I sort of decided that the time will come sometime between now and whenever Oliver would be embarrassed to call his mom his Valentine.  Not sure when that'll be... but I'm unprepared.

Despite limited experience, I'm pretty sure that the kid is the best Valentine ever.  :)

The Origin of Aphrodite

Most people have heard that Aphrodite was made from sea foam.  In fact, her name means "from the foam."  Honestly, until last week I had no idea where she came from, nor did I care.  Considering that this week is Valentine's Day and love is (hypothetically) in the air, I can't help but think a little bit about the Goddess of Love.

Origin stories are a lot of fun.  If you know where a person comes from, you have an idea of how she got where she is now.  Where you come from is important.  It also seemed at least a little important to the Greek Gods.  Of course there are numerous versions of these stories, as there are with all deities.  I'm taking my first ever mythology class right now and it's interesting, but I'm genuinely grossed out on a regular basis.  God behavior is so barbaric (though I suppose not much has changed, really...but I won't go there...now).  Let's just say that their parenting skills were sub-par and leave it at that.  Last week I was reading creation stories...the ultimate in origin stories, because they discuss the origin of everything.  I found Hesiod's origin stories the most interesting.

In the beginning, we had Gaia and Uranus...Earth and Sky.  They hooked up, possibly because there wasn't anyone else around, and started making beings.  All was good and fine for a while, but...eventually Gaia got tired of childbearing.  I mean, she was literally carrying these kids around...inside her.  So, she complained.  Eventually her youngest son, Cronus, felt bad enough to help her out.  Mother and son conspired to...make sure there wouldn't be any more kids.  Cronus castrated his father and threw his severed member into the sea.

That wasn't the end for the severed member, though.  When it landed in the sea, foam rose.  From that foam came Aphrodite.  How's that for the origin of the Goddess of Love???

Happy Valentine's Day...a little early.  

Missing...

Do you ever miss people that you don't think you have the right to miss?  I know that seems weird... like, who or what could give that right or take it away?  But, that's what I'm feeling today.  It's not a great feeling, because without any right to claim a feeling one way or the other about a particular individual, there's nothing I can do about it.  I can't call or text or write a letter that says, simply, "I miss you."  There were two people in my dreams last night that I haven't spoken to in a while.  I swear my subconscious likes to plague me with missing and longing randomly.  If I've been too happy or too detached (which is a pleasant state for me), it'll just show me something I want but can't have (see previous entry), or something I no longer have.

And, while I know this won't bring me any real peace, it's the most I can do for now.

Person 1 - I miss the way things were.  Those days are gone...and it's for the best for both of us.  That doesn't mean that I don't think of you sometimes... and it doesn't mean that I don't miss you.

Person 2 - I just miss you.

La Douleur Exquise

This is a quality that I seek when reading or watching TV or movies.  I want to feel that pain right along with the characters.  It's got to hurt... and the reasoning can't be something stupid or simple.  There needs to be a real issue (object of affection is dating your brother/best friend... object of affection is a blue and you're a red... object of affection is an alien or other supernatural being...).  It's always a 'hurts so good' kind of thing when experiencing this through the eyes of a character.

But... it isn't any fun at all in real life.  Trust me, I know.

The reasons for the differences are the rules of the story.  When you're watching or reading something, you know there are rules.  Writers follow the rules, because the person watching/reading the story has expectations.  If you don't live up to those expectations, you won't make it; your story will fail just moments before your career.  Fizzle...pop.  The expectation is simple: no pain, no gain.  The moment when they do kiss will be so perfect that ever bit of pain will have been worth it...But, the longer they draw it out, the better.  If they're still not madly in love AND together by the end of book 2 or the second season, you're in for the best finale ever.  I'm a fan of 'romantic tension' and will actually stop reading/watching if the relationships are too easy.

But... there are no such rules in real life.  We're all raised on stories and there is no real life equivalent.  When we're writing our lives, and the object of our affection is unattainable, no amount of suffering ensures a payoff in the end.  Even if the longing is deep, the moments you spend with your unattainable person charged with electricity, and the possibilities seemingly endless... in real life, unattainable is a much more final state.  Even if the reasons are stupid and petty, as they often are.  There is really very little to look forward to in real cases of unrequited love...or even just the unrequited crush.  :|  What I wouldn't give for a bit of the supernatural getting in the way...

"Oh, you're a werewolf?  I completely understand."  I'm calling to see if I can have you committed...

"Our families have been mortal enemies since the beginning of time...and something about dragons?  Okay, I get it."  Even though that might make you more attractive to me...except for that thing about dragons....

But what are the real reasons that average people face?  I don't care for that hairstyle... You aren't very tall...  we have different taste in music... are you really going to wear that?  I don't like your dog.  Your job isn't impressive.  You have debt and you aren't rich.

No spark.

No need.

I'm not sure unrequited would be any less painful if there were werewolves or aliens or multi-generational feuds involved...I'm not even saying that it'd have that kind of awesome tension that exists in fiction... but I am saying it'd be more interesting.  This is why I like fiction so much.

And also why I find real life so insufferably boring sometimes.