Something I read a little bit ago...and some other stuff.

I became a 'fan' of the Coffee Party Movement on Facebook a while back...and have been pleasantly surprised by the content of the posts.  While I fully admit to being a bleeding-heart liberal, I often become a little nauseated by the incessant bitching of my contemporaries.  I'm more of a "Freedom and equality for all, peace, love, happiness, etc...but please leave me the hell alone" kinda liberal, I guess.  Anyway, a post came up a little bit ago that I really liked.

"Imagine if we had policies and laws that prioritized happiness and well-being over productivity and profit. Consider that the Declaration of Independence mentions the right to the pursuit of happiness, not the pursuit of profit."


So...Imagine that.  Imagine 1 year paid maternity (and paternity) leave!  Forced vacations.  Less talk in the media about The War On....something... and more talk positive things happening to people.  Less focus on dollar signs and more and passions.  How many people would REALLY be doing what they're currently doing if money weren't a consideration?  I know that since having my kid, I've been more inclined to look for and apply to jobs at soulless corporations that pay well but would leave me emotionally crippled.  Wouldn't it be nice if the focus was on real, individual people instead of assets and earnings?  


In other news, I FINALLY have a job interview!  :)  I am very VERY excited!!!  It isn't at one of those soulless companies, either.  It's at the local behavioral health facility... even though I don't believe I'd be doing much direct interaction with clients, at least at the end of the day I'll still feel like I was a part of something worthwhile.  The pay is about half of what I'm worth, but right now I'm focusing on what'll be close to home and give me the most possible time with my kid.  Childcare will still be a bit complicated, as will transportation...but I'm sure that everything will come together when it's right.


The most difficult thing about potentially rejoining the workforce actually has nothing at all to do with working.  I quite like having a job and interacting with people.  I'm just not looking forward to spending any amount of time away from my son.  It isn't that I don't trust the people who'll be watching him... it's just that I've been here every single day for nearly 16 months...watching every bit of development as it happens... I am going to miss so much.  I just have to remind myself that by going to work, I'll be putting him in a position to develop further providing him the means to do so....it just breaks my heart knowing I won't be there for everything anymore :(  Where oh where is my winning lottery ticket?!  


Back to the first point... if money weren't a consideration, I'd be an artist and a writer...and I'd have a few more kids... and I'd just stay home all day completely indulging my kids.  It'd be awesome.  


Oliver is a pretty loquacious little thing lately.  He's learned to say 'butt'...and does so while smacking people in the butt.  It seems that he's trying to form sentences, and come up with the proper names for things.  He saw a trash truck the other morning and said 'trash truck car' (tra tru cah).  


He's still using food to lubricate his fingers so that he can stick them farther up his nose.


He's also a total little lover.  I worried what he'd be like with little babies because...they're little...and he's not exactly gentle with the cat.  I found out over the weekend, though.  One day we went to visit a little boy who is 8 months old, and Oliver was a big helper baby.  He tried to pick the younger boy up and tried to help him walk.  His efforts usually ended with both babies falling over, but it was pretty cute.  It was also a nice realization that my kid likes littler kids.  The next day we went to visit an old friend from high school who recently had a baby girl.  Oliver was smitten.  I held the 1-month old beautiful baby girl...and Oliver kissed her over and over and over.  It was absolutely precious.


Anyway.... this is taking a very long time... and I'd rather be watching Oliver eat a plout.  

Decaf Thoughts...

Today I've rescued a bunny and realized that my breasts make me feel like a liar.  What a way to start a day, right?

The bunny was being tortured by my cat... it was a tiny little bunny, probably just a couple weeks old.  I got the cat away, and threw her into the house.  Then I trapped the bunny and carried it off into the desert.  I checked it out as well as I could, and it wasn't too broken up on the outside.  There was on little (looking) gash on its neck, but I don't know how deep it went.  The poor thing was shaking and terrified, though...and I don't know the extent of the internal damage.  It hopped off into the mesquite just fine, but that means very little.  I'm fairly sure that it won't survive... but its chances out there are far better than any chance it'd have in the house, despite any injuries.  Ugh.  I'm so mad at that cat... and I know it's instinct making her go after fuzzy cute things... but still.  Both neighbors have chihuahuas and I'd be fine with those being brunch.

And now, to lighten the mood...I'll talk about my boobs.  The other day I mentioned to a friend that the guys who shop at Safeway are much better looking than those who shop at Walmart.  Just a few minutes ago I was trying to decide on a movie, but figured that I'd just watch Eclipse again because it's full of pretty guys...at least that won't disappoint me.  So, that same friend said I should just go hang out at Safeway.  I don't think that's too bad of an idea.  I haven't pumped yet, so I'm very full of milk...making me deceptively well-endowed.  I wouldn't have to bother with a shower or anything else if I wore something low-cut...because no one would notice anything else.  But, then I realize how much of a liar that makes me.  Technically, these are my boobs.  They're not fake...but they are loaners.  Once Oliver is done with them, they'll probably go back to what they were before...which really wasn't much.  :|  Or perhaps I should feel less like a liar and instead use it because I know I WILL lose it.

I had so much to talk about a couple hours ago when I started writing this, and now I lack the motivation to write anything.  <3

A day in the life of...

I was awoken very abruptly this morning...not by the usual whacks in the head from Oliver, but by screaming. As that has never happened before, I was sort of scared. Screaming and fear are not good ways to wake up. Oliver was awake and sitting beside me, sort of dazed still. I shook off the sleep and realized that my mom was screaming at a cat out in the carport. Our cat. Who had just killed a baby bunny. I had quite a few thoughts about that... first, I hoped that the corpse would be gone before we got out there. I didn't want Oliver to try to play with it, y'know? I also wondered why the cat never killed anything that should be killed. She doesn't kill spiders. She doesn't kill sun scorpions. She doesn't kill mice...except the one kangaroo mouse last summer... that she found somewhere outside and BROUGHT INSIDE. The only positive thing I could come up with is that, at least this baby bunny wasn't someone's pet...like the last one. I wondered about the situation from the cat's perspective, too. I bet she feels pretty upset at the way her gifts are interpreted... how she is yelled at and punished for headless lizards and random bits and pieces of unknown furry animals...and how the gifts are unceremoniously sopped up in paper towels and Walmart bags and tossed in the trash.

I never saw the bunny. Evidently it screamed :(

There was also this dream induced funk that I had some trouble shaking for about half of the morning. I had considerably more morning than usual, though, so it did happen. I hate it when I know I was dreaming something absolutely horrible but don't remember what... and the icky feelings from it hang on after I wake up. It's much more difficult to reconcile something like that if you don't have any memory of how the feeling came about.

So...I cleaned. For a while. I removed cat-hair covered stuff and swept up cat hair and vacuumed cat hair. Oliver really tried to help...he followed me around with his swiffer :) The house looked decent by 9:30. I don't recall much else until our shopping trip.

FINALLY, after weeks of waiting...and wishing at least one local store would come through, I got the Huggies jean diapers.
Seeing that Amazon link makes me think I should have just ordered them a couple weeks ago, because that's a much MUCH better price. The diapers are pretty cute! They smell a little more like plastic/chemicals than Huggies Snug & Dry, which is what we usually get because they have almost no smell. For the first few months, we used Pampers Sensitive Swaddlers. Once Oliver outgrew the Swaddlers, we had to switch to Huggies because I couldn't stand the smell of any of the other Pampers diapers. We got one box of Luvs...I don't know whatever happened to them. We used one, but the smell was so overwhelming that I just couldn't put another one on my kid... such a shame, too, because they're a lot less expensive. I haven't tried the Walmart or Safeway brands...or any other store brands. So anyway... jean diapers seem pretty decent. I might order another box online. :)  Here's my boy, passed out on the couch in his *designer* diaper.

True Blood just started. I'm having real difficulties with this and Twilight right now. With Eclipse coming out in a couple days, I've watched both movies again this week. Because I've been watching/read True Blood, I've been having trouble keeping the stories straight. They're pretty much the same... There are vampires and werewolves. The star vampire looks pained. The girl dating the star vampire is a moron. Someone can read minds. There's some violence. The only real difference is the sex. True Blood is a free-for-all...Twilight is all about tension. Eric is hot, though. I liked Bill at first, but he's just too dumb. And Jacob is hot in the movie, but so annoying in the books. Ugh. Are all vampire stories full of morons??

Anyway.

Oliver has learned to pretend quite well :)  He can prepare a meal and serve or eat it...and drink pretend drinks.  :)  It's very cute!  He's just such a smart little boy...I swear he's learning new stuff every couple seconds.  He doesn't yet try to feed his stuffed animals...he'll hug his bubba bear and give him to me.  When I was little (not quite so little as Oliver), I thought my stuffed animals were cold...so I put them right up close to the heater.  They burned.  Somewhere I have a little stuffed sheep with a burnt butt.  I would love for my son to have that much compassion, but would also like for him to have the foresight to avoid burning his toys.  :)

Oliver also used his potty again today :)  He's such a good boy!!!  :)

It's getting kind of difficult to focus on writing while watching True Blood...soooo I'm gonna stop.

<3

I should have written yesterday...

For whatever reason, I was full of information and insight yesterday...and today I am not. I spent a good deal of time working on getting freelancing projects, I watched a movie, played a word game, and read a little bit of Bill Bryson's A Short History of Nearly Everything.
It's an excellent book, so far. I had a near-complete breakdown 10 pages in though... Reading something that requires some degree of deep thought when tired is very frustrating. I don't think I'm capable of contemplating the concept of nothing after 8pm. Reading about physics and cosmology is exactly what I need to stop the feeling of mental decay associated with no longer being a student.

I also made a chicken casserole. I'd share the recipe, if there was one... I just threw a bunch of random veggies, some noodles, and some chicken in a casserole dish and topped it with bread sticks. Calling it a chicken casserole is really deceptive, since it's more like a garlic casserole. It wasn't intentional...and it's a good thing I love garlic. Evidently, Oliver is also a fan of garlic. The leftovers have permeated the entire fridge...AND freezer...with the potent stench of garlic...mmmmmm. :) No vampires are going to be visiting my house... :)

Yesterday Oliver and I got matching 4th of July shirts :) I was soooo happy to find out that my town is going to be celebrating on the 3rd this year. The public excuse for this is that nothing will be open on the 4th... the REAL reason is that 90% of the town's population will be at church on the 4th. For a long time I was worried that Oliver was going to be missing out on the festivities, and that made me sad...and not really want to participate myself. BUT! We'll be watching the parade...going to the water fight...wandering around a bit...and hopefully he'll get an extra good nap so that he'll be up for the fireworks! :) And hopefully this year I don't lock my keys AND phone in the car. Last year, Oliver was tiny for all of this...just 3 months old... but he did sooooo well. He LOVED the motorcycles in the parade and the fireworks...we'll see what he loves this year :)

Last night, before settling in with my book, I flipped through the channels. It seems we're having a free preview of Cinemax. I am not impressed. Well, not by the actual movies...but I am quite impressed by the cleverness of the titles for the various soft core (I think?) porns that were on... The Devil Wears Nada... Cleavagefield...Co-Ed Confidential: When Virgins Attack! (I genuinely hope that you're able to sense the sarcasm with which this paragraph is written...)

In Oliver news - A blimp flew by yesterday. It was flying pretty fast and...crazy. I've never seen one move like that...or at all, really. Oliver was very interested in it. He pointed and said 'airplane' quite a few times :)

And what else did my boy (who will be 15 months old in 2 days) do yesterday?? He peed in his potty again! :) I'm such a proud mama.

He also really likes to take out the trash...from his diaper genie or from the bathroom. He can lift the bathroom trash because it's such a tiny bag...and he'll carry it outside to the big trashcan. :) He can't lift the diaper genie bag, but he sure does try! He drags it..usually pretty far. We're also getting to the point where putting toys away is a game. He'll put away one toy at a time, but gets sidetracked a lot.

Right now he's at the door to the sun room, trying to figure out the door knob. I think that's one milestone we can skip for now :) I'd rather he learn a few new words...

OH! One more thing. Monsoons have arrived!!! :) It's tough to decide which is better: monsoons or spring... both are such amazing times in the desert...they both smell good (and I'm allergic to both). The last 2 nights have been much hotter than I'd like, but the smell of rain nearly made up for the heat. I get very nostalgic during monsoons...and spend more time than I should thinking about all the great summers I've had. Part of me so badly wants to teach just so that I can always have summers.

Well, I'm off to do more job hunting and playing.

Things I Forget.

At the top of the list of things I tend to forget - this blog! The prize?? This entry!!! WOO!!! It's shiny and new :)

So...I probably have a billion things to bitch about, but how about I start with a victory dance instead?? My son, who is not yet 15 months old, has successfully gone peepee in his potty!!! It happened Saturday evening (the 19th). I was so excited that he got scared... which I hope does not lead to anything along the lines of, "I do that, mommy freaks out...never do that again!" Then he stuck his hands in the potty...so it was time to get off the potty. He then tried to dump his potty on the floor. We then left the room for a 'potty favor'...meaning an M&M...and he was very happy. I don't think that he was as happy as I was, but...someday :) We'd only been actively trying out the potty for 2 days at this point. Before, he'd sit on it occasionally... he'd stand on it... he'd drag it out of the bathroom. He also talked to all the potties on the shelf in Walmart that looked like his (here's his potty, btw. He LOVES it)
There is only one thing about this potty that I don't really like... it is tall. My kid has figured out how to get onto it, but has a bit of trouble getting off of it without taking the whole bowl with him. It seems this was developed with taller, older children in mind. Oh well. I refuse to have a 4yr old in a diaper. That shit's just not happening (quite literally).

In other news... what is up with this job market?? I had anticipated being able to find a job within a month of graduation. It has been a month and 2 weeks, and I have had nothing but nothing. I've received a few, "We're sorry but other candidates...blah blah blah" emails... and not a single phone call. While searching for jobs, I see that there are probably 100 listings for various kinds of engineers and just as many for RNs and physical therapists. I occasionally wonder why I didn't choose one of those as my profession, but then remember that I don't appreciate the stress that accompanies math... nor do I possess the compassion necessary to be vomited on by strangers. I look around and see the welfare moms doing better than me financially...and wonder why I didn't choose dirty crackwhore as a profession. I'd like to think the reasons are fairly obvious... but still, those dirty crackwhores don't owe Sallie Mae anything. There's gotta be something out there for someone with a master's in library science who isn't able to move anywhere. :| I really hate that someone else dictates the success or failure of my family.

What it really comes down to, though, is doing something more just to get an interview. I'm fun in interviews... I think. It seems that most employers are also not entirely sure what it is that a librarian does...so I doubt I'm being given fair consideration. They figure I know how to read and put books on shelves. :| Anyway, once I get a job of some sort... I'm going back to school. Yep. I just can't keep away. I've decided against law school, though. I'd hate to have to compromise my morals, and I know that's a profession for the immoral, the heartless, and the greedy. I've decided on network administration certification. 30 credits. I can do 30 credits... I've already done like...200?? I dunno. I'm a big fan of perpetual learning...which should be fairly obvious since this is the first time in 25 years that I haven't been enrolled in some kind of school.

I feel the dumbening cloud settling in...

Anyway... my kid will be home any minute and I need to prepare myself!!! :)

There's a question I always ask myself...

And I ask about a million times a semester... Why did I feel the need to get a master's degree?!?! Why? Why!? It's pretty bad when I start asking in the 3rd week of classes though. I've only received 2 of the 3 textbooks I need. One may never get here. Amazon doesn't seem to have the ability to get any copies, there are no used copies, and the UA bookstore can't get any copies, either. Oh well. It's pretty annoying, but the professor says she'll do what she can to get info to those of us (yeah, there are a few of us) who don't have books. :| This semester, with the kiddie getting bigger and doing more, I'm even less interested in working on paper-writing and so on...I'd rather play with the boy.

It was sunny and beautiful out today. Because it was sunny and I was in a crappy, mean mood, I decided that I needed to take Oliver to the park. He enjoyed the swing for a little while...then we went to the slides, and he was indifferent. He was indifferent going down on his own (with me holding onto him) and he was indifferent on my lap. Then I put him on the ground in the dirt...and he was fascinated. I was very happy that he didn't try to eat the dirt. :) There were some other kids and their creepy old dads in the park... weird home schooled kids. You can always tell this particular type of home schooled weird kid... they're a few steps beyond hippie... their parents are always old. Old like they wanted to wait until they had things in order to have kids...but they're still dirt poor.

I'm sure I came here with a purpose, but I've forgotten it. G'night!

Oreos, kid-missing, and such...

So, it's another one of those awful nights I have to go without my little man. I'm not sure how I've survived emotionally through the few nights we've been apart... I honestly don't understand how parents actually WANT to be away from their children. I'm dreading the day I have to go back to work. Being away from him for a few hours a week is far too much :( I've been trying to think of crazy get-rich-quick schemes since before he was born...sadly, I've come up with nothing that'd actually work. There's always writing...which I imagine I'll figure out at some point and start doing and hopefully getting paid and all that good stuff...but it'd be insane for me to assume that I'll make a good living at that right away. If only I were a much funnier person...

All I'm sure of at this point is that a venti latte followed by a Red Bull is no way to start the day... I'm getting to that point where I'm sure I'll be crashing any time.

Also... I have some issues with this season's Big Love. The dead prophet's crazy son is gay?? Really?! WTF? How does that work? I mean... does he get to have numerous husbands??? When it really comes down to it, the least crazy thing on this show is the multiple wives now. Everyone's gone totally nuts. I miss the old theme song and intro, too. The new one is a downer.

I'm watching some PBS thing right now... Emma. I think I may have missed something because I have no idea what's going on right now. It took me half of the last episode just to figure out which one was Emma and tell her apart from the others consistently. The only character I still recognize is the guy who was in Hackers... and I know he's the one who'll eventually marry Emma. I guess I'll figure out who she is again when that happens. They really should do a better job of making the characters look different.

Then again... I'm awful at identifying people. Seriously. It's all about context for me. Some people belong in certain places, and if I see them in other places I have no idea who they are. It's awful, really. It probably makes people think I'm really rude or antisocial... and though both are often true, they aren't true to the extent that I'm sure they seem. I tend to remember people when they're at work. It's horrible when people get new jobs, too. I really wish everyone would just wear name tags...and possibly short bios...

I think I'm going to stop this now... updating is definitely something I need to do more often... but I am tired of typing.