Forget world peace...visualize using your turn signal.

There are some days when all I want to do is drive around with no destination in mind... drive around and listen to music.  I was up and as cute as is humanly possible quite early this morning.  I had a rather short job interview, and a rather long list of things I needed to get done.  Immediately following the interview, I changed into clothes that'd allow me to survive 96 degrees plus high humidity.  We desert dwellers don't function well with ANY humidity... Anyway, I decided to head to Starbucks.  As I was leaving, some old lady who was going way too fast in the parking lot almost hit me.  Head on, even.  On my way home from Walmart, an old guy pulled out of a driveway right in front of me.  He looked RIGHT AT ME while driving toward me in the wrong lane.  He continued to look at me as I stopped...and waited for him to figure out which lane he was supposed to be in, and then get there. By the time I got home, I was pretty tired of people.  Sadly, I had more stuff to do... so off I went.  I took the long way, through a school zone, because I figured the idiots would be avoiding that area. Not so.  An old lady who was busy watching some people didn't bother to look AT ALL when pulling out at a stop sign.  She wasn't looking forward.  She never looked anywhere except out the driver's side window.  I did have to speed in a school zone to avoid being hit by her...but oh well.  I managed to go a couple blocks without incident and return one of my library books.  Two blocks later some idiot on a motorcycle...who was going the opposite direction...decided to cut into my lane (driving right toward me) and then into a parking lot.  Had I been further away from him I would have been okay with this.  Had he used a turn signal AND been further away, it would have been great.  Bleh.  What a day for driving.  Also - just for the record - if you're already half way into my lane, it's a bit late for the turn signal.  Nice thought, though.

I ended up sitting in the car beside my mailboxes, listening to Silversun Pickups - Kissing Families as loudly as I could stand it.  I have road rage.  I swear.  I've flipped old people off.  Today I managed to go through all that without flipping anyone off...and only swore a few times.  I'll admit that I'm not a great driver.  The thing is, I know the basics.  I know which lane is mine.  I know that it's generally a good idea to look before pulling out of driveways and before pulling away from a stop sign.

Sometimes I wonder if this SUV is invisible.  Like, there's some kind of magic cloaking device...like the Weasley's flying car.  It's just one that I'm not aware of...

Guess it's time to stop avoiding all the toys on the floor...

This is not a Book.

Initially, I planned to come here to write about the book I finished earlier...and I will write about it, probably tomorrow, but... my brain is mushy due to emotional exhaustion.  Thanks, internet, for giving me glimpses into the grieving processes of children.  I also think I could go the rest of my life without anyone else I know being terrified and sorrowful when their newborn is seriously ill.  It's been a rough week for many of my acquaintances.  It's been a week that's made me increasingly grateful for all that I have.  People put it all out there, now...all that raw emotion... it really is amazing.  It'd all be so much easier to deal with if I weren't such an emotional sponge.  Suppose this is why I'm useless in situations with high levels of emotion - it's not that I can't deal with the emotions of others, I just absorb them.  Even if I hardly know the people.  In a sense, I'm okay with this...affliction... yet I don't feel that I'm good at *being there* for others in times of need when I've completely shut down.

Despite all the things that've done me in emotionally, the only thing that's made me cry has been So You Think You Can Dance!  I called it from auditions - Melanie just had something special about her.  Anyway...here's the the only dance from the entire season that actually made me cry...all happy tears :)

Well, I guess that's not entirely true.  There was one death in the book I finished that got to me... and not so much the death, but the way it was dealt with...a hero's send-off for a peasant.  There's something about that sort of thing that gets to me... in a good way.  :)

Feed

I read another book.  Big surprise, right?  I almost liked it.  I really want to say that I liked it.  The truth is, though, that I only liked the ideas that were hinted at - the stuff that lay under the surface of a really dull story about really annoying kids.  It was called FEED, and was written by M.T. Anderson.  How is going to the moon for spring break dull, you may wonder?  Well...when the whole thing is described by shallow idiots, it never comes across as something interesting.  All the shallow idiots have feeds: devices in their brains that are primarily for consumer activities.  They tell them what they want to buy, what's on sale, what's cool... They also serve as search engines, getting them any information want want immediately.  Feeds also keep people in contact - like instant messaging in their head.  And of course all their favorite TV shows are broadcast right into their heads as well.  That's probably why all the characters were shallow idiots.

Everything going on in the background is interesting, though.  The lesions are interesting - why are people getting lesions?  Why are they cool?  The questions aren't actually answered, but there are lots of possibilities.  Why are the clouds(tm) artificial?   The things that I found most interesting were the political commentary and the views on consumerism.  Schools had been bought out by corporations when the government stopped funding them... and School(tm) taught really useful things, like what to buy and how to decorate your room.  I was pretty disgusted while reading that, yet can't help but wonder if that's a direction we're going in now...  The disintegration of language was done very well...and was another of those things that hit me with a little wave of nausea because I can see that we're on our way there already.  There is a LOT of swearing, but the words mean almost nothing in context; the characters aren't aware of alternatives.

There's only one thing that actually happens in the entire book - and this is going to be a big spoiler, because I just have to comment on it in detail.  One of the characters is sick.  Her feed is failing, and she's poor.  Because the feed is linked in with all of her bodily functions, she deteriorates physically as well as mentally.  Before realizing the severity of her situation, she starts playing games with her feed - trying to trick it.  She tries to see if there is a way to make it have no idea what sorts of products to recommend, so she starts looking at and requesting information about all kinds of random things.  When they realize that she needs serious help to keep her functional, she and her father make pleas to the feedware company for free repairs.  They figure that since it's life or death, they'll help.  Of course they don't...but the reasoning is depressing.  They didn't find her valuable.  They couldn't figure out what sorts of things she wanted to buy, and she hardly ever made any purchases, so saving her would not be profitable.

In the book, nothing was ever as good or as satisfying as anyone wanted... Nothing was very important.  No one focused on much of anything because there was just so much going on - and all their decisions were being made for them.  Overall, the book gets a B-.  I'm knocking off an entire letter-grade because reading it was intellectually painful.  Being trapped in all that idiot-speak may have killed some brain cells.  Part of me really wants to give it a C, because all the background stuff might be lost on a younger reader... but I have to hope that we're not that far gone as a society.  Yet.

I'm no good at titles.

Today I've eaten nothing but junk.  I've listened to music that I've loved for a long time.  I've had a latte and a half.  I've outlined tarot readings and learned to use some new astrology software.  I've downloaded an eBook that's pretty excellent (found half of it online a while back and loved it...ended up paying for the whole thing).  I haven't finished reading it, but will before the day's out.  I've also started reading another eBook about writing, and this one kind of makes me laugh.  Not because of the content, but because of the author.  I've been wanting to read Enders Game, and as it turns out, the author, Orson Scott Card, is the author of the writing book.  I've got to admit that it isn't teaching me nearly as much as Mayer's book, but it's entertaining.  He talks about developing characters in a real-life way...asking questions.  There's a lot of questioning motivations in it.  The Mayer book is a lot more textbook.  It's very straight-forward.  There's a problem, a reason it's a problem, and a solution.  The formatting makes it easy - and as someone who typically reads nonfiction, it's comfortable.  I probably haven't said that before...but yeah, I usually read nonfiction.  This summer excursion into the YA hall of fame (or at least the shelves at the county libraries) is branching out.  I love YA, but during the semester, I don't often have time to read anything with a story.  Sadly, I'm not capable of remembering what's going on, especially when it may take more than a week for me to find the time to read.  That's kind, actually... I usually give up after about a month of trying to read fiction during the school year.  Oh the trials and tribulations of the perpetual student... #firstworldpains?  I think so.

Also, #youknowyou'reoldwhen... you start to look at pictures of peoples' kids to figure out who the hell they are and why they sent a friend request on Facebook.  Maybe seeing a teenage child will spark some remembrance...some familiarity.  Sadly, it's usually not the case.  Usually, I end up feeling much older because I genuinely forget who people are....lots of people.  I mean no offense by it.

There's a huge storm and I am distracted and must go outside.  :)

That was the most intense storm at my house in the last couple years... wow!  My yard is flooded.  There's a river running through the back yard.  I have 2 lakes!  The power flickered.  :)  It was awesome!  I just wish my kid was here, though.  He could play in the puddles and use his new umbrella.  Then he'd cuddle up with me all cold and wet and wrapped in a towel, smelling like deet... :)

Since I have nothing left to say...that's of any consequence, anyway... I'll retire to the couch and watch The Simpsons.

Two books to talk about...

Well, other than my own, that is.  :)  Mine's coming along as well as it can at this phase... it's mostly planning and research.  I'm getting to know my characters, getting to know their motivations and how to push them to grow.

Anyway.

I was eagerly anticipating The Magicians... it had great reviews, and c'mon, what HP fan doesn't salivate at the mere thought of reading a book about magic?!  Too bad the book was so terrible.  I'm not sure it's fair of me to say the whole thing is terrible, since I only managed to read around 150 pages.  I really tried, though.  Giving up on a book is difficult for me, but this book was just...awful.  The author holds degrees in comparative literature from both Harvard and Yale...yet can't tell an engaging story.  Nothing really happened in the bit that I read, and years had gone by in the book.  The language was uncomfortable, and there were numerous continuity errors (if the sun doesn't set, how the hell does it rise!?).  It just felt that he was trying too hard to assert his masculinity with unnecessary vulgarity.  The book felt unclean.   There was one sex scene, but it was so gross... it was a very explicit scene of two of the students having sex while transformed into arctic foxes.  If you're writing about magic, ANYTHING can happen... and that's what the author chose.  I don't get it.  Maybe guys would like the book.  Or Furries.  Whatever the case, it's on its way back to the Douglas library.  It isn't getting a link or a picture... scroll down if you're desperate.

Now that that's out of the way... here's the good.  Had I broken down and purchased Divergent, rather than waiting for the library to get it, I would have been satisfied.  I finished the book today...and it was so good.  I love reading amazing first novels.  This is a typical dystopia book...with the typical romance.  The love triangle never exists, which I like...gotta stray from the norm a little.  The politics REALLY show, near the end especially.  The last 50 or 60 pages were a pretty big shock...lots of drama and excitement...some sad moments, but oddly, I didn't cry.  The main character is a smart girl - something I like.  She wasn't just pretty and brainless...which is, sadly, pretty common in YA.  Not a good message to send to girls.  Anyway.  This book is the 5th book I've actually really liked this summer.  The Hunger Games trilogy, Before I Fall, and this.

I hate writing when I'm exhausted... and when it's really humid... and when I've been bitten by a few too many mosquitoes.  Oliver has a couple new bites, and now I'm wondering if the mosquitoes at his dad's house are mutants... the bites tonight are pretty big for what they are, but they're nothing like what he had Tuesday.  Sounds like it might rain, though...and Oliver is still awake and literally climbing all over me.  Clearly I have better things to do... <3

Odd dream.

You'd think at nearly 30 years old, I wouldn't have dreams about showing up to class without my homework.  Or being at a new school and wandering around lost, completely incapable of finding a classroom or even asking anyone to help.  My dream schools are pretty awesome, though...and I think that at least in some of the classes I was supposed to be the teacher this time - that's a plus.  I was still totally unprepared, though.  One of the classes was elementary school science, and there were giant table sandboxes everywhere, and plastic dinosaurs and other dino-era things in bags on all the walls.  The walls looked like rocks, and there were palm trees.  It looked a lot like a gift shop, but the sandbox tables were surrounded by stools.  The school was Pre-K through grad school, it seemed.  The student union was this immense mall with crazy architecture.  I've been there before in another dream, except I think then it was just a mall.  It was partially underground, and the lighting was a bit off - some natural, coming in from huge intentional cracks in the walls, most of which had waterfalls, too.... and some coming from dim lights hanging from the ceiling.  It was like an industrial cave, but cozy.  The constant freak out of going to classes late, unprepared, and in some cases not sure if I was the student or the teacher, made it tough to really enjoy the scenery though.  And at one point I almost fell off a ledge into a pond while walking above the union.  It was kinda nice to wake up from that, though :)  Even with the stress, it was a nice dream.  I do blame my mom, though...this was her first day back at work.

And that bothers me.  Year-round school is a good idea in a lot of ways... but it feels wrong.  The first day of school CAN'T be in July.  It doesn't feel right.  It doesn't smell right... there's no back-to-school feel out there!  I was outside yesterday thinking that it's just not the right time of year for this.  Mid-August has a better educational feeling it...July is still summer.  I wonder if there'll be a noticeable difference in the kids... this being their first year of year-round, and being that it's July, I'm guessing they're still mentally on vacation.

If I wonder about the lottery numbers, think I might get a lottery number dream??

Where the &$%# is the RAIN!?

My skin is crawling with anticipation - yet I have a feeling there won't be a storm.  This whole monsoon season has been weak.  Today I got in the car after my shower - mostly because my favorite way to dry my hair is to drive around with the windows down - and I drove around in circles so that I could drive toward the storms as much as possible.  There's just no point in hoping anymore... The big storms aren't coming.

Last night I had a very real dream.  It was evening, and I was walking around the UA campus with Oliver.  Everything was yellow-tinted, like fall, but it was still summer.  It was sprinkling just a little.  Everything smelled like wet pavement and wet desert...it was so calming.  I felt at home.  I woke up to Oliver...and the shadow of the dream hung over me for a few minutes.  It was a nice dream :)

Anyway... I came here with a point that had nothing to do with a failed monsoon season or my yellow dream.  For the second time this summer I have read something that was REALLY good.  And I mean...kind of genius.  If you're at all a fan of YA (and you'd need to be, because it's just a day in the life of a sort of shallow teenage girl), you NEED to read Before I Fall by Lauren Oliver.  It was a stretch for me to stray from fantasy/sci-fi/dystopia...I'm usually terribly disappointed by "normal" books.  I'm so glad I took the risk, though...this book is really well-written and really touching.  At first, I really hated all the characters, because they were such teenage girls.  They were mean and shallow and thoughtless and just...teenage girls.  I didn't even like teenage girls when I was one.  It took a while for them to become people, but the writing was just so good that I started to get absorbed in their little world.  I had read a review or 10, and there was just so much praise that I had to read the book, but by the time I got it, I'd forgotten what it was about.  It's about a dead girl reliving her last day over and over...some parts of it are so unbelievably sad, and some funny, and some loving...most bittersweet, though.  I hoped all the way through for some kind of change.  Every day did change, sometimes good...sometimes not.  It was just a purely genius idea... a whole novel of one day.  It was pretty great.  I remembered from the inside of the book jacket of the author's second book that this book was supposed to have a shocking end.  It didn't.  For a long time I knew where it was going, but it was ok...it didn't hurt the story at all.  In the context of the characters and the expectations they'd have, the end would have been a shock... and I suppose if I was 16 it might have been a shock (but when I was 16 I was obsessing over 1984 and Anthem and The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test...even if I didn't understand it).  Anyway... if you like YA, read the book.  :)